“I slept for twelve hours today. Sometimes it’s nice to not worry. But then I realize that it’s bad to ignore things. It is not good to let things sit and rot. It is not good to put my worries in bold face and let them take control of my body.
One day I’ll be twenty five and I’ll be in some city walking around and admiring all the work put into it. I will realize that the person who made all of this probably didn’t sleep twelve hours the day they drew it up. They didn’t avoid responsibility. I can only ask myself why I negate compassion and why I shoot down every chance of success. If being afraid of the future is my fault, then so be it.
I will stand in the ocean and let the water wash off my regret. After a while, I’ll see that no matter how long I stand there, the water cannot do everything. At some point I will realize that nothing is permeable and that like glue, only I can put these things back together.
I will stop putting myself in this position. I will stop pushing away the people who love me. It only takes a day to get on the right track. It will only take getting out of bed. It will only take getting the hell out of bed.
Don’t let the sun burn out. I think I still have some time to figure this out.
I wrote this song four months ago. I’m still trying to figure everything out.